Clearing out the “shitposts” folder

I apparently had a folder of images prepared for technical grade shitposting that were going unused so it’s time for a SHITPOSTING FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS

This shitposting festival made possible by the PTek corporation.

Your transmitter with the patented Crown of Thorns, guaranteed to send you running to the friendly local general store for first aid supplies and to clean up in their washroom after slicing your freaking knuckle open

In theory maybe this just means the top cover was put on backwards but I don’t want to open the top cover. Why? I don’t want to know what’s inside this unit because this is what was inside the older FM-500 series and it makes me a sad panda. (Spooling up turbocharger for powerful shitposting of… shit!)

The power supply system is three switching PSUs with their outputs wired in series and grounds floating. OOOOKAY, NO, DON’T DO THIS

Here’s the PTek FM500 series pallet overall. Not visible, or even particularly accessible, above the top of this photo, is the control logic board buried between the heatsink and the housing. Input (and output) are the tiny white cables to the right. Input’s at the top. It first goes through a buffer/driver stage, a Wilkinson 2-port power divider, through the finals, through some very unusual stripline transformers, then to a Wilkinson 2-port combiner ending with the start of the output lowpass filter, a fourth-order pi network apparatus. Seems legit, but look at those RF FET modules.

Post continues to be image-heavy so I’m going to place a break here to avoid excessive page length

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Set cruise control to “anxiety”

I hate it when drivers set their vehicle in optical cruise control with a maximum speed of 99 and a following distance of BANANA.

Seriously that’s creepy. Stop that.

It seems to be a very common affliction among Ford SUV drivers who all drive like they have a death wish around here.

* KG4CYX slaps you around a bit with a large trout!

Q. How do you mount a very expensive FM broadcast low pass filter?

A. Not like this.

Baling wire. Yeeeeeup.

This site is an interesting one. The filter is buried behind this giant failtube that I’ve been authorized to delete. It goes nowhere.

Looking up inside the noggin bonker.

It’s blocked off, if it wasn’t it’d vent via this weird open soffit. Considering the number of wasp nests I’ve seen out here in warmer months, I’m glad it doesn’t.

Coming soon to this site: a brand new PTek…..

No, this was not my choice.

………. I’m gonna need a bigger trout

Linguini Mountain, Part II

This post is to be assumed to be to the tune of She Wants Revenge – Out of Control. available on YouTube here. So I was up here again and was asked to check the generator and fuel level. Fuel was fine, generator started, amazingly, with only minor reluctance, and immediately filled the shack with exhaust, so I left the vent fan on and walked away for a while, came back, ran in holding my breath, shut it down, and left for a while more. It urinated on the floor… Sure looks like one of the CrapsackWorld props from Idiocracy, doesn’t it? But then I heard a buzzing that didn’t sound right after the generator was shut down and traced it to a pair of relays oscillating. I unplugged the power supply to them and a nice fireworks show of good ol’ arcy sparky happened for a moment, ending with a power strip breaker tripping. Beautiful. I then got to work……

None of this was functional anymore. Especially not after the fireworks show…. Now I’ve just gotta rewire the remote to one of the transmitters to eliminate a final layer of relay bodge and I can start over with better control. How do I come to inherit these things??!! Sadly, off air time may be required. What a thing to greet my operations manager with when he returns from vacation! “Welcome back, I need to nuke your stations!” Actually he’s a really awesome guy and he won’t be mad at all.

Feverish Hot Take… The 2018 Flu Epidemic.

No, you cannot have any time off, just take one of these patent medicines and go back to work. Yeah yeah, I know I look like I have three heads, that’s one of the normal side effects.

I have a theory that one of the major reasons this year’s flu season is particularly vile is that policies and management in many companies have eroded, or completely destroyed, the confidence of the American workforce in knowing that they’ll have a job to go back to if they take any time off sick.

Thus, everyone is just going back to work with the flu, and spreading it at unprecedented rates.

Of course, our current mostly conservative government will not create or enforce any policies granting workers sick leave, or even adequately fund any medical or research programs into infectious disease control, so here we are.

It’s kind of frightening. Most of the people I know who have caught the flu this year are back at work because they’ve been told that absence, even if they have a note from a doctor or clinic, will be considered unexcused and grounds for termination. A lot of them work in supermarkets, foodservice, and other tasks that pretty much guarantee spreading any infectious critter they catch.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.

The Maddening Tale of Mr. Ramko.

Note: This is not about anyone named Mr. Ramko. It is about a real person though, whose identity I have replaced with the name of a manufacturer of really shitty audio gear.

This is a kind of long mess so I’ll use the “don’t make the main page ten miles long” tag as I did for The Scrolling Tray Of Horrors

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WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FCA ??!!

THIS BLOG POST MAY CONTAIN LARGE AMOUNTS OF AAAAAAAAAAA. You’ve been warned.

A day in the life at FCA – Fiat Chrysler America:

(BONG NOISES) “Hey, I’ve got a great idea, heh, what if we stack all this electrical junction box shit on top of the battery.”

“Oh, like the main high amperage starter and battery system fuses?”

“Nah man. Like, all of it.” (BONG NOISES)

“Duuude. Gimme a good hit of that and we’ll go design it right now. Hey, my Autocad is really colorful today.” (BONG NOISES)

Several months later, in a remote parking lot:
“Oh okay let me just see if this low battery just needs a jump and charge or replaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT EVEN IS ALL OF THAT OH NO NO NOOOOOOOPE NOPE NOPE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

After seeing all of this I’m actually almost willing to call the GM vehicles that buried the battery under the entire air intake box an ACCEPTABLE design.

wat

 

On the left (negative post) – the terminal is a soft alloy one. However, then, some kind of cupric-ish looking* mystery metal piece is permanently swaged into it. This is the baseplate to what’s probably a Hall effect battery current sensor. Congratulations, you successfully ripped off Honda’s battery charging system, and did it WRROOOOONNNGGGG. Bolted to that (why not put the bolted connector on the other side of the sensor so the terminal may be replaced??!!) is the post for the battery cable’s exceedingly strange quick disconnect.

well at least it makes a good half assed james bond title card

This terminal fits over the post DISTURBINGLY loosely. Once you press the release tab at the top, it pulls off effortlessly. I didn’t actually have to press the release tab before I lifted it off for the first time. HMMMMMMM….

 

The post has a groove in it that something inside the terminal locks into. Barely. It attaches with an unimpressive, almost imperceptible snap.

The positive post. This goes to a very large plate that I’m guessing is tinned cuprimysteryassalloywhatever*. It looks like in this case, the plate can be unbolted from the terminal, but the terminal is totally custom and has those two bolts swaged into it.

Note the shape of the terminal. This terminal has been tightened by the factory to the point that the gap is entirely closed; the terminal is now stretched out of shape permanently and it is unlikely to be able to be transferred to a new battery.

Same deal over here on the negative post, though that has maybe a millimeter of life left in it. Maybe. Note that this trashed terminal is permanently attached to that current sensor, so both have to be replaced along with the battery. WHOSE BRILLIANT IDEA WAS THIS??!!

(BONG NOISES) “wooooow, that’s like, killer, now they have to buy like, a metric assload of proprietary parts to do a simple battery change.”

“duuuude, wait, it gets better, look at this amazing coolant hose system they’ll have to come back to us for! I based it off this tangled bunch of stems.”

…….i don’t want to look at this or any other FCA product ever again, BYE FELICIA!!!

 

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Recreational marijuana dispensaries will be legal under California state law come January 1. Recreational use has already been legalized at the state level. Check local laws for any restrictions, however – some municipalities have weird ones. Chico seems to want nothing to do with it (….and the potential tax revenue that would come from it but ok??!!)

HOWEVER.

Like any other substance that has the potential to slow down response of the central nervous system, use marijuana responsibly. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery while under the influence. The designated driver system should be used if you’ve gotta get somewhere by automobile to a social gathering where you plan to use marijuana. Do not drive…. or design…. automobiles while under the influence. That means you, FCA Corporation. Thank you very much and happy new year!

* I pulled these made up words riiiiiight out of my ass to say, it’s either copper, brass, or bronze, some copper containing something or other.

 

You bellends!!!

See these magical runes???

Their secret is not hard to figure out!!! Once you discover it, it will effortlessly summon a park ranger stationed about five minutes down the road to open the gate!!

Do not start forcing the gate or tampering with the locks! There’s literally no reason to do this and it will trap a poor innocent broadcast engineer up the road and cause him to yell CUNTYBOLLOCKS!!!!! in your general direction. You wankstain. I saw who it was too and they had the biggest Jefferson State seal I’ve ever seen on their truck. I’m unimpressed.

Dear FedEx…

Why did you take away literally every possible location to do express shipping over a weekend in northern California outside of Sacramento?!

Why?!

You douchehonking morons.

To be fair this is still an improvement over the way they operated in South Florida, where they did have weekend service but would constantly miss their pickup because the trucks got trafFUCKED and would wind up returning to the depot without making any pickups or deliveries.

Squuarrrarrppp!!!

There should be a sound effect for the construction of these awful little “whimsically awful mound of unpleasant rectangles” Gentrifi-Matic mixed use apartment buildings.

The sound effect should be that same one used in anime to suggest that someone is about to have a severe gastrointestinal event. It’s a loud, deep, rather horrifying sort of gurgle Squaararraaraarrrp!!!

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