Breaking News!

Dow Jones Industrial Average Reaches 23,000! Some hedge fund manager goes squirt squirt and cleans up after themselves with a Balenciaga snot rag that cost more than your net worth.

In other news, the economy is still total shit unless you’re already rich.

Frequently Asked Ridiculous Questions (FARQ)

How did you wind up in California?

I went to the left. Then to the left a bit more. Then up and down a few times.

So you traded hurricanes for earthquakes?

I’m nowhere near the San Andreas Fault, but thanks for your concern.

Are they REALLY still using old Moseley PCL-505s?

Yes. And they sound just fine, thanks!

The other coast.

I’m in California, cooking dinner on this glorious range. It’s almond, chrome, and fake wood behind glass.

And it glows.

I’m up in the small towns north of Sacramento. They don’t have traffic reports up here because they don’t need them. Can I retire my #trafFUCKED tag?

Grocery bags seem to cost 10 cents each at the stores but they’re a very thick, strong plastic, intended to be reused “up to 125 times”. I’m not complaining… Just kinda a new thing.

Also there are mountains and there’s this one road, California 20, from Donner Pass to Nevada City, that I’ve named “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Highway”.

Troublesome Meta Substances.

There are a few substances you should watch out for in the electronics field. No, I’m not talking about lead, not even about beryllium…

  • Unobtainium. This is a substance only really rumoured to exist, yet it’s often the base material for parts in something you’re working on. Nobody can find it now, but there’s always someone, maybe you, who knew where to find the Unobtainium parts… 25 years ago in a tiny shop that’s long gone and replaced by a check cashing store. Unobtainium is known to exist in all three states of matter, but once it becomes gas, it irretrievably escapes ….
A jar of pure Unobtainium, liquid form.
  • Expensivium. While it can be obtained, its scientific purpose is totally unknown. However, Expensivium is the most maddeningly, frightening thing to find as part of an electronic part, for its presence means that these parts will be subject to wild increases in price whenever you need them. Expensivium is usually added to the composition of semiconductors that have been on the market a few years, rf power transistors, high voltage capacitors, wire and cable.
  • Chineseium. A very inexpensive but disappointing element, it has often been unsuccessfully used as a substitute for Expensivium and Unobtainium. Parts based on excessive amounts of Chineseium will usually fail very quickly due to this material dissipating right out of existence. Attempts to refill a system with lost Chineseium will not theoretically work, as in the theories on refilling lost Magic Smoke, for the high concentration of Chineseium will just lead to even more rapid failure.

While Unobtainium, Expensivium, and Chineseium are not directly toxic or harmful to persons, their presence is associated with a scientifically vague yet statistically proven link to migraine headaches and anxiety.

Oops, guess I should write a TV reception guide

Or buy and resell cheap rabbit ear antennas as a barely legal hack device to fellow millenials

 

Picture stolen from Phil Burks.

 

Yes in the actual article they interview people who can’t believe receiving free to air television is legal

you can’t handle our secrets

 

Stumplefloofs.

A couple months back I had a great realization in a dream.

Corgis are stumplefloofs.

I woke up laughing like a madman because it was too cute and perfect.

They’re a little floof that runs around on stumpy legs. Stumplefloof. Yes.

And they have the most darling little fluffy bunny butts, of course.

By my dream logic though, and even my logic in waking hours — stumplefloof is a perfect description.

…. And now I’ll go back to pondering whether creative addition of jumper wires and stuff to an old Miranda video converter board can be used to make trippy video glitch art.

Blazing Carriers

Ahhh, long time clueless pirate Blaze FM is back on 88.7 and causing problems for listeners of WDNA at 88.9.

Let me just hook up the Arizona tea can to the analyzer here….

This is them sending dead carrier. Note WDNA signal over to the right fully modulated. Horizontal is 50 kilocycles/division

Setting the analyzer to peak hold is useless as it just fills up with spurs from who the hell knows what, but here, enjoy this indistinct lump with the interior of the dead 777 International Mall in downtown Miami.

The worst meme

The worst meme: Brand name recognition.

“Turtle Wax” presoak that does nothing but smell bad
Seriously. Presented with the same shit tier product, both with no brand name, and with a recognized brand name, consumers will go for the brand name.

Never mind that the contact that once held that brand name is gone and the brand name itself has been sold off as an intellectual property asset.
Man, people will buy anything. I’m pretty sure underwear with “covfefe” printed on it exists now. Morons.

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