Best driver of the year award goes to….. Girl who spent more on her weave and her phone than she did on her car, who slowly drifted out of her lane while poring over something on her phone.
I didn’t notice this until I felt a very wrong sensation and heard an odd sound and my car started wanting to push left. I looked over and the first thing I saw was my rear view mirror stuck right through her open window next to her face.
I realized I didn’t want to spook her because she’d do something and make it worse… So I gently moved left, getting my mirror out of her oblivious face and gave her some room…. then let loose with the horn.
The phone popped back down and she swerved all the hell over the place before slamming the gas and leaving a cloud of blue gray smoke. Then the phone popped right back up again and she rear ended a dump truck ten seconds later. Of course since she’s already on SR-22 she just ran. So did the dump truck.
Coming home from work, I’m sitting at a long red light wondering how to drink the last bit of coconut water from an irresponsibly tall carton of it because the thing his the ceiling before it tilts enough. I’m sitting there stopped for about ten seconds when… Bang.
The car stalls instantly. No airbags fired but the fucking coconut water is now airborne before landing on my nice red leather trenchcoat. Fuck a duck.
I get out kinda in disbelief, stunned and shaken but unhurt. The first thing I see is the car behind me with the front end totally munched!
The driver gets out and she’s really apologetic and rubbing her forehead. I look at the back of my car and, well…
Look at all that damage! Uh, look hard…. It’s just not there.
We exchange information and the driver goes on and on about how she’d rather pay out of pocket for my repairs because she is on SR-22 insurance. The classic strategy for trying to escape liability in the ghetto….
But there’s no damage to my car and I’m not even mad.
Then she points out she wasn’t wearing her seat belt and her head hit the glass.
I’m mad now damn it.
I’m an engineer. Trust me. Buckle up.
She’s going on about how her car is brand new (to her) and she just wrecked it…. I didn’t know what sr-22 meant at the time but it apparently means she’s crashed at fault three times in a year??
Now, why did her car pretty much take it up the nose from my rear bumper? It wasn’t the car’s first crash either. Looking in the grille, the metal part of the bumper was crushed back into the AC condenser…. and rusted like that. Someone had just slapped new plastic parts and paint on the car, leaving it with no actual bumper, so it neatly crushed the hood on impact.
Well. Maybe now you’ll stop texting and driving and for fuck’s sake buckle up. You wouldn’t mail fragile items without padding…. Don’t stick yourself in a big metal box unprotected.
My car wouldn’t crank for a couple minutes after the crash but then just reset?! Not sure what to make of that, but I guess it needed time to convince itself it was safe to restart.