This is an early model cable converter — it simply let you watch cable channels on a non cable ready TV set. I have many childhood memories of watching shows through one. The top of the box always got so warm, and ours had the piano key selector on a long cable. The control, from memory, is nothing but a big resistor divider that sets the voltage presented to a varactor diode in the tuner, with a couple of logic lines going back from that selector on the left to switch the tuner between three bands. As this was all highly inexact, the fine tuning roller on the right was usually in need of a twist. Set it just right while the right two or more buttons were pressed down at once and sometimes you could juuuust watch the scrambled channels, in weird green picture with horizontal warping around a green and white color bar…!! Shhhhh don’t tell anyone….
A) there are designer toddler shoes with fancy fur trim and shit, and they cost $250 a pair
B) people. actually. buy. these.
C) said people get foaming mad when the toddler kicks them off and launches them to their destruction under the stroller wheels in a puddle.
Guys, I think my least significant bit is stuck high, because….
Staff member wanted for major nonprofit organization.
Applicant must have strong experience in low voltage electrical, networking, audio and video production, carpentry, stage lighting and prop construction, audio engineering, painting, metalworking, and be able to lift 120 pounds up two flights of stairs repeatedly for hours on end. Must be willing to work days, nights, weekends, holidays, and consecutive daily shifts up to 22 hours in length.
Must be willing to work substantial unpaid overtime at last minute notice.
Applicant should be willing to live with a total lack of ability to plan any activities outside of work due to constantly changing schedules.
Compensation: in some states, Sandwich Artists make more. Full benefits package and paid time off available. You’ll never get to use the paid time off though. Retirement fund provided but you’ll never be able to afford to use it. Daily unpaid lunch break provided, through which you remain on call.
Significant biological and electrical hazards present as well as the risks of handling murderously heavy cargo.
Apply today at [Fnord! Not available at your clearance.]
(There. I wrote it for you. Go ahead and send it to HR for posting. I dare you.)