NOPE!!! Or, probably my one and only post on religion.

“Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.” 
(New American Standard Bible, Romans 14.)

Just spotted this on an application form for something I was invited to apply for and I slammed the browser tab shut in about 200 milliseconds. Then reopened it to copy and paste the content so I can share with you all how ridiculous this is. I have sanitized all instances of the organization responsible to a string of asterisks as not to burn too many bridges and highlighted certain sections that are even more heavily concentrated bullshit than others. I’ve also indented the paragraphs to make it actually unreadable as opposed to how it was originally displayed.

Needless to say I’m refusing this offer outright. This is one of the more horrifyingly weird things I have ever seen on an application form.

No… I’m not going to let a fucking PeopleSoft form question my faith. 😀

Just for the record… my own personal beliefs over time kind of went from agnostic to atheist, and now I just look at stuff like this as highly illogical nonsense! Why would an interpretation of a religion so heavily promote acceptance and not judging your peers…… then proceed to just bash everyone down who may not practice the same religion, who may use some words that are thought of as “bad”, or those who are homosexual or transgender?

I’m sorry, no.

BEGIN COPYPASTA

**** DOCTRINAL STATEMENT (Adopted at the annual meeting of the Board of Trustees, October, 1928) In view of the present unrest concerning doctrinal questions within the sphere of evangelical Christianity, and to answer inquiries regarding the position of the **** thereupon, be it Resolved, That this Board of Trustees places on record the following statement of faith as that to which its members severally subscribe, and to which it requires the subscription of the members of the faculty of the Educational Branch and all the official heads of the Institute, to wit:

ARTICLE I: God is a Person who has revealed Himself as a Trinity in unity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit – three Persons and yet but one God (Deut. 6:4; Matt. 28:19; I Cor. 8:6).

ARTICLE II: The Bible, including both the Old and the new Testaments, is a divine revelation, the original autographs of which were verbally inspired by the Holy Spirit (II Tim. 3:16; II. Pet. 1:21). ARTICLE III: Jesus Christ is the image of the invisible God, which to say, He is Himself very God; He took upon Him our nature, being conceived by the Holy Ghost and born of the Virgin Mary; He died upon the cross as a substitutionary sacrifice for the sin of the world; He arose from the dead in the body in which He was crucified; He ascended into heaven in that body glorified, where He is now, our interceding High Priest; He will come again personally and visibly to set up His kingdom and to judge the quick and the dead (Col. 1:15; Phil. 2:5-8; Matt. 1:18-25; I Pet. 2:24, 25; Luke 24; Heb. 4:14-16; Acts 1:9-11; I Thess. 4:16-18; Matt. 25:31-46; Rev. 11:15-17; 20:4-6, 11-15).

ARTICLE IV: Man was created in the image of God but fell into sin, and, in that sense, is lost; this is true of all men, and except a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God; salvation is by grace through faith in Christ who His own self bare our sins in His own body on the tree; the retribution of the wicked and unbelieving and the reward of the righteous are everlasting, and as the reward is conscious, so is the retribution (Gen. 1:26, 27; Rom. 3:10, 23; John 3:3; Acts 13:38, 39; 4:12; John 3:16; Matt. 25:46; II Cor. 5:1; II Thess. 1:7-10). ARTICLE V: The Church is an elect company of believers baptized by the Holy Spirit into one body; its mission is to witness concerning its Head, Jesus Christ, preaching the gospel among all nations; it will be caught up to meet the Lord in the air ere He appears to set up His kingdom (Acts 2:41; 15:13-17; Eph. 1:3-6; I Cor. 12:12, 13; Matt. 28:19, 20; I Thess. 4:16-18).
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

[ I really have no comment on this as to me they’re about as real as My Little Ponies. ]

***** Christian Identity and Values At **** we value being a community of caring Christians dedicated to helping one another grow toward Christian maturity. We are part of the larger Christian community and we represent an institution committed to spreading the Word of God through education and media ministries. We seek to cultivate attitudes and conduct that are consistent with Scripture, striving to reflect God and his values in our lifestyle and the conduct of our service. As members of the ***** Christian community, we commit ourselves to live Christ-honoring lives. Employment at ***** presupposes that each employee has committed his or her life to Jesus Christ for salvation and Christian service. A lifestyle in accordance with biblical principles is essential to demonstrate that commitment to fellow employees, to ***** students, and to the outside world. Scripture clearly indicates that “whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Col. 3:17).

Rules and the Christian Life
The Scriptures encourage us to pursue a course of conduct that is free from both lawlessness and legalism. Rules are not in themselves a test of spirituality, yet a spiritual person will submit to God’s Word and to God’s established authority (e.g., church, government, employer). Such a person will live in love and self-control in the community in which God allows him or her to live and serve. The Bible clearly presents certain absolutes of moral behavior. In other areas where absolute principles do not exist, Christians must search the Scriptures for wisdom in dependence on the Holy Spirit. ***** calls its employees to live in accordance with all biblical absolutes. On the other hand, matters of individual discernment will be left to the Christian’s conscience (with a few exceptions due to communal considerations). In every instance, the exaltation of God’s holy name is what should ultimately determine the employee’s behavior.

[ Keep this in mind…. we’ve just declared that rules are not to be taken as a test of spirituality, and decisions should really be left up to one’s faith. Now, watch this argument get dashed to shreds. ]

Biblical Absolutes and ***** Employees
By biblical absolutes, ***** means those unchanging scriptural truths about God, his creation, and his will for human beings. Rooted in his character and law, these truths are universal, unchanged by time, circumstances, culture, or human interpretation. Included in the absolutes are certain requirements of the Bible about moral living. Positive Commands Because we desire that the life of Christ be manifested in the ***** community, we expect that a believer will seek to follow every direct command of God. Examples of Scripture’s positive commands would include actively participating in a biblical*, Protestant local church, loving other Christians, doing good to all people, being filled with the Holy Spirit, obeying the Word, and trusting God for personal needs (Prov. 3:5-6; Luke 11:28; John 13:34-35; Gal. 6:10; Eph. 5:18-21; Col. 3:12-17; 1 Thess. 5:12-22; Heb. 10:24-25).

[ Oops, about that faith? Yeah, it’s fine as long as it’s Protestant. Otherwise you can go fuck yourself. ]

Prohibitive Commands
Biblical teaching forbids practices such as idolatry, stealing, drunkenness, chemical dependency, gossip, gluttony, dishonesty, occult involvement, murder, profanity, law-breaking, the use of illegal, addictive, or mind-altering drugs (including marijuana), physical abuse or battery, child abuse, all sexual activity outside of the husband/wife marital relationship (including pornography, all other manifestations of the ‘sex industry’, and homosexual or transgender behavior). Furthermore, attitudes such as lust, greed, divisiveness, thanklessness, pride, hatred, rebelliousness, and jealousy are equally displeasing to God. (Gen. 1:26-27; Ex. 20:1-17; Ps. 11:5; Prov. 6:16-19; Rom. 1:26-27, 13:1-14; 1 Cor. 6:9-20, 15:34; Gal. 5:19-21; Eph. 5:1-18; Col. 3:5-10; 1 Thess. 4:3-8; 1 Pet. 5:8) While recognizing that no Christian can attain perfect holiness this side of heaven, **** nonetheless calls its employees to let these biblical absolutes govern their lives at work and away from the workplace at all times.

[ Yeah okay, I know there’s that thing in the Ten Commandments that says “no god other than me” or whatever, but how about those of us who don’t believe in one? I’m guessing that falls under ‘Occult Involvement’. I’m not even going to get into how COLOSSALLY STUPID the prohibition of homosexual and transgender lifestyles is here. It should just be obvious to any logically minded person.]

Matters of Individual and Communal Discernment

By individual discernment we mean each employee is free to follow a biblically informed conscience. As noted above, Scripture provides certain moral absolutes that **** expects to be followed. Concerning issues about which Scripture is not clear and Christians disagree, **** endeavors to leave these matters to the individual’s conscience as described in Romans 14. “Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand … Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind” (vv. 4-5). The guiding principle of a Christian’s moral life is God’s glory. This means we will never use our moral freedom as an occasion to abuse our bodies, which are God’s temple. It also means our Christian liberty must be balanced by the needs of the broader community to which we belong and our behavior adapted to its benefit. Therefore, certain prohibitions not mentioned in Scripture are nonetheless necessary for the **** community. While in the workplace or carrying out **** job duties, employees are prohibited from consuming alcoholic beverages, using tobacco products or gambling in any form or venue. Though these are not explicit biblical commands, neither are they left to employee discernment; they are communal limitations that allow **** to maintain a good reputation so as to glorify God in all things.

[ So I have an issue with this. The version of Romans 14 they cited here is the New American Standard Bible version, available here. Continue onwards and you find this:
13: “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.”
Burrrrrrrrrrrrn. ]

*By ‘biblical’ we mean a church that subscribes to the five primary doctrines of biblical Christianity, which are: 1) The Trinity: God is one “What” and three “Whos” with each “Who” possessing all the attributes of Deity and personality. 2) The Person of Jesus Christ: Jesus is 100% God and 100% man for all eternity. 3) The Second Coming: Jesus Christ is coming bodily to earth to rule and judge. 4) Salvation: It is by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. 5) The Scripture: It is entirely inerrant and sufficient for all Christian life.

[ ponies. ]
Before you begin the application process, please read the agreements on this page carefully. By selecting the agreements checkbox below, you acknowledge that you accept the terms of these agreements. If you do not agree to these terms, select the Exit button.
Agreements
Application Terms & Agreements
I certify that all the information in my application is factual and honestly presented. I understand that prior to an offer of employment I will be subject to a background investigation which may include a state and federal criminal investigation. I authorize the Institute to seek information from the reference sources which I will provide. In the event of my employment by ****, I agree to comply with all rules and regulations set forth in the Employee Information Guide and other communications to employees, as they change from time to time and for any reason. I further understand that any employment relationship offered is for an indefinite period of time and is terminable at will by the ****.

[ There was an “I Agree” checkbox here.]

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