The Watchman

When I first started working here, I noticed this beautiful but shy little man hanging out with our night watchman.

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He would only get close to a couple of people, anyone else would spook him into running off.

One day, he stood on that little wall and gave me a squeaky little meow to come over, and now every day ends with this:

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Nope, you can't leave, I'm in your hand

I think every broadcast facility should have its own fuzzy creature watching over things.

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It's all good, we've got Sargeant Beantoes on watch

There’s another cat around here from time to time but he’s evil so let’s never speak of him again. He’s out there. Watching. Waiting for another victim to lure for a clawing… But he won’t get anywhere near this sunny orange sweetheart.

Casa del carajo

So we meet again

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Despite the booming business by scrap rats, decrepit abandoned lines still aren't removed

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For a good time call
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Two enemies of your electronics: water...
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... and heat
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That'll do
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Poor bunnified exciter
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So unloved
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Sprint cleaned up their former nightmare

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Hey at least I get paid for holidays and overtime at this job

Thank you for using American Tower Corporation. Have a nice day. Sorry about the waterlogged shoes.

How to use your racks and avoid unspeakable engineering horror

On most equipment racks you will find the following pattern of holes:

** * ** * ** * ** * **

No, it was not drilled by a drunken woodpecker.

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But this gear was installed by a drunken bonobo at 4 am.

See the holes with the wider spaces between them? Good… IGNORE THEM! They do not exist! You never saw them. Fnord.

See the closely spaced holes? Imagine they’re the dots on a double 1 domino. This means there’s a center line between them. See attached photograph. The center line will be the edge of each piece of equipment to be mounted.

Why are the center holes there? Okay… Fine, I’ll admit to their existence. Begrudgingly…

Some oddball accessories like cover blanks and cable lacing bars may be screwed in here. In the case of cover blanks it’s usually on weird ones that have a single hole in each end of a 1U* high blank. If you install a lacing bar this way it will be in the middle of one rack unit space – handy for the rear rails behind a patch panel.

Otherwise, do not use them unless you really have good reason to.

If you do mess this up…. Well, look at the wonderful mess in the photograph. Huuurrrrrgghhhhhhhhhbbllll.

Is any of this real? None of this can be real, right?

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No way. This must be the ergot talking.

I’m beginning to wonder if this city even exists or if this has all been a prolonged mass hallucination caused by ergot growing in the croquettas or something… Kinda like how the ergot growing in the bread in Salem led to the witch trials

There’s just no way any of this is real

Well if it’s hallucination it’s a really good one because dude I can smell the hot vinyl and feel the warmth from that bad crimp splice there that likely breaks about 23 parts of the National Electric Code

The Tropical Meta Prediction Center issues its forecast

This is what you will be seeing in all broadcast media in the near future and oh what a glorious time to be alive

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And every last inch of me's covered in Gaston

The above image was used in the fabulous YouTube Poop “Beauty and the Beastiality”.

You know at this point that storm could leave me floating out to sea and I couldn’t even be mad because I’m just going to keep thinking of Gaston’s song.

Fictional or not, he’s the only dude I know of who can break a belt with his neck muscles. I still can’t really grasp whether that’d be realistically possible or not. Does human anatomy even work that way? I did snap the collar button off a dress shirt once, but I feel that’s not much of an accomplishment. It was actually kind of amusing at the time because it fell right in my hand.

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Seconds later, a random person suffered the curse of falling trousers.

I dunno, maybe the only reason I’m posting that is because it’s amusing that it momentarily looks like he’s
wearing a collar.

Try as anyone may, you can’t scrub the old goth out of me. Old school goth troll. That’s me.

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