Your Sunday horror: The 1960s Gelatine Plague

There really should have been a 72 hour waiting period for purchases of unflavored gelatine so we could stop and think about the horror we were about to unleash
There really should have been a 72 hour waiting period for purchases of unflavored gelatine so we could stop and think about the horror we were about to unleash

It was a far different time. A time before people posting pictures of their food on Instagram, a time when America was running in the space race and everything had to look all cool and futuristic….. and all our recipes had to involve locking our food in Carbonite. But since Carbonite preservation wasn’t entirely ready for prime time yet, we settled instead for bricking it in gelatine.

Everything.

Everything was sealed in gelatine.

Desserts, salads, meats, you could grab the edge of the table and shake it and make your whole dinner quiver.

spaghetti-o-mold
Clearly, we failed to learn from past mistakes.

At least, this is the mental picture I’m getting from things like the infamous old Betty Crocker recipe cards. Please prepare yourself, the page linked mentions something called “Prune Whip”. Just so you know what you’re getting yourself into.

This post was inspired by seeing a picture of a MODERN creation that’s been floating around on Pinterest and Facebook – a Spaghetti-O’s jello molded doughnut of sadness covered in Vienna sausages. Like the bright red and mottled appearance of the fly agaric Amanita muscaria, this is a warning that you may not be happy if you eat it.

Also, would this thing get you in trouble on Metrorail? If I saw someone bring one of these things proudly aboard the train I’d probably exit at the next station and run for dear life, in fear that the gelatine plague could spread to me next and cause me to start entombing Mediterranean salads in gelatine.

Excuse me while I go write my congressperson a letter in favor of gelatine abuse prevention programs.

 

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