Fnord! (you can’t see me)
An idea:
Restaurants offering delivery should add the option to also deliver treats for your pets so you don’t wind up with a begging face glaring at you and your yum disc. 
The only thing I ask of anyone who implements this idea is that they post pictures of happy cats, dogs, and any other creatures they bring happiness with it. Look at that cute lil pupper!
My eyes make no sense. My glasses broke a few weeks ago and I glued the bridge back together. They broke again last weekend and the plastic just won’t take being glued again- it turns to powder!
It occurs to me I shouldn’t have had the same pair for over 10 years, right?
So for now I’ve just been dealing with the weird behavior of my distance vision and realizing how little sense it makes.
Things get blurry from about six feet out… but what happens from there is pure fnord.
I can read larger text on the interstate highway signs just fine and some residential street signs. However, some just blur out and the chances of it being legible don’t really even correlate to the font face, size, or colors. Sometimes I’ll even get to watch a blurry one snap into sharp focus after a second.
This is really fun during an eye exam when the results of testing will contradict themselves seconds later.
Meanwhile, I can perfectly see a little 100 foot tower that’s like ten miles away and up a 6000 foot mountain.
What even are eyes? They make less sense then the thorium oxide doped glass in old Pentax lenses.
From today’s adventures… 
I had to reboot my Subaru Forester tonight. It threw literally every possible error message following coming up with the traction control, hill assist, and ABS warning lights on.
The fuse to reboot it is a 20 amp at the front center of the under hood fuse box labeled “Back Up” in the legend.
So here’s how you reboot a car. Note that some vehicles have this fuse labelled as dome light.
On certain navigation/audio systems you will need an anti theft code to reactivate them after this.
Either way, pull it, wait 30 sec, and reinsert. Be careful not to touch any hot parts under the hood if the car has just been running. A fuse puller is likely provided in the box, but if not, many replacement fuse kits come with one, or you can use small pliers to grab it.
After pulling the fuse, waiting at least 30 seconds and reinserting it, don’t be surprised if you get an errant horn honk, beeps, or clicks. Aftermarket alarms may start blasting and need to be turned back off with the remote.
Wait another minute or so, then restart the car. Check that the stereo comes on (or asks for the code…) to be sure its anti theft logic has cleared out. You will need to reset the clock and other settings may be gone as well.
In addition, it may drive differently at first as adaptive data has been reset.
Congratulations! You now know how to clear an automotive BSOD.
Now, if people would only stop arguing with me and trying to convince me that piercing guns are actually of acceptable design… Why has this happened like six times in the last week??!!
Sending the text “PRINT, YOU DUMBASS!” as a test for a printer that’s being difficult but is across a fairly large office space is a good way to get the entire office laughing.
You are proof that truly amazing things exist in the world –
Your mind proves that modern science and engineering have figured out a way to install Nava Shield on the human mind.
I was about to fall asleep when I heard a really bizarre undulating, non stop … grunting? It sounded like the distant residue of a low male voice but did not match anything like a singing or speaking pattern. Did I mention, NON STOP? If it was a voice it was something that never stops to breathe…
I also heard an actual voice through the wall. It sounded…. worried.
Somehow I came to realize I’d left the balcony light on so I reached over to turn it off. Just before my hand touched the switch, I saw a shadow flicker by the light.
Click.
Instantly— silence.
What the crap was ?!!
Save energy or we sic the flying hellmoths on you. – Pacific Gas and Energy.
The best thing about voice over IP / digital voice networks for amateur radio is that there are so many of them!
You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike, yet none interconnect. There is a mailbox here.
> open mailbox
The mailbox contains a QSL card.
> read QSL card
Dow Jones Industrial Average Reaches 23,000! Some hedge fund manager goes squirt squirt and cleans up after themselves with a Balenciaga snot rag that cost more than your net worth.
In other news, the economy is still total shit unless you’re already rich.
How did you wind up in California?
I went to the left. Then to the left a bit more. Then up and down a few times.
So you traded hurricanes for earthquakes?
I’m nowhere near the San Andreas Fault, but thanks for your concern.
Are they REALLY still using old Moseley PCL-505s?
Yes. And they sound just fine, thanks!
