1. I was asked to see what would be needed to put my cluster’s MARTI UHF remote radios back in service.
2. I saw on Facebook that someone got a tattoo of a lineart interpretation of the fucking Loss meme.
Why. why would you do either one of those things to yourself? Using the MARTI for a remote broadcast sucks but having a shit meme tattooed on yourself is just amazingly dumb.
Tattoos are a piece of art, both ephemeral and long lasting, that one displays upon their body. The loss meme is just awful. It’ll be forgotten as all your base in a few years and yet. Well…. can you imagine trying to explain this shit in like ten years? Pictured, the original comic panel and a similar lineart interpretation of loss.
I dunno, loss.jpg will still probably be better than setting up that will-burt mast and antenna only to find you’re cockblocked by having no line of sight and a Fresnel zone situation… I doubt the plan is to use that dino-radio often.
I’m referring to a literal nightmare here, not a figurative one. I had a pretty frighteningly vivid one last night. I blame being a bit tired out after having subjected myself to transistor horror.
In this dream I had been invited to visit an engineer at a local TV station. In reality, up here in the northern Sacramento Valley, there’s pretty much just one TV station that produces the news for most of the cities north of Sac.. anyway…
I walked into the facility which was in some nondescript warehouse bay, past a row of dusty screaming servers, and into a dark, cold little control room that had unpainted drywall walls and a window looking out on the news set.
There was just one guy there. He sat in front of some kind of really REALLY dummied down console that had a few faders and buttons on it which apparently did next to nothing as they were covered in dust. A small cheap netbook computer with the power lead duct taped into the side sat in the middle of this console. The only button that did anything was an illuminated and quite worn TAKE button on the lower right corner. Above this console was some kind of weird rackmount unit with two 16:9 CRT monitors and a satellite receiver. One was on program out, one was showing the output of a waveform rasterizer somewhere which revealed the same thing that the program monitor did: the cameras which were on robotic pedestals out in the studio, which were set on auto white balance and auto iris, were shaded very very badly. No controls were present to correct this.
Nobody else was present.
The news show opened and the talent began reading from their teleprompters. The prompters were fed from who the hell knows where (the engineer didn’t even know!) and there were really messed up lower thirds and captions that appeared and disappeared pretty much whenever they felt like it – the guy was reading the show rundown on the netbook screen and calling the scenes, as he pressed the worn old take button to transition between them, but only the people on set actually ever seemed to listen. The cameras often didn’t move when they were supposed to, or pointed at the ceiling or something, and nobody was here to fix it— he’d just smash the take button again and skip the scene where they were supposed to be used.
Of course, the Sinclair group ‘must read’ propaganda piece on fake news was read by the talent. (In reality, this one local news station we have up here is a Shitclair property, but they have never read this that I’m aware of— instead they just have this weird pretentious sounding statement about accuracy.)
The weather was then run, supposedly from a local meterologist, but in reality it came from a satellite feed from who the hell knows where. A low Eb/N0 warning flashed on the receiver display and it glitched out. The engineer just hit TAKE again and the commercial break began.
I just felt this horrible sense of terror and started running. The shitty little warehouse bay suddenly became an endless maze of alternately insanely dense or empty racks of nonsense equipment and cabling. At some point I saw a display showing the transmitter readings, the VSWR was high as hell, the signal was (miraculously) in mask, but the 8VSB eye diagram showed two entire levels smashed flat and missing… I thought to myself “well, at least that means nobody is able to watch this shitty trainwreck over the air!”…
Then I was suddenly back home in my bedroom watching this shit on the television. There was a badly corrupted picture on screen as they started talking about a farmer’s market up in Shingletown. I saw one of my enormous Yaesu satellite base radios sitting on the nightstand, which was actually a useful detail later in convincing myself I dreamed all this shit.
Then I woke up, but I was stuck in that horrible state of having to convince myself that this incredibly vivid dream was NOT real.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS ANY OF THAT, BRAIN?! What’s scary is, depending on who you ask, this is the grim future of television news. It was truly horrifying at the time.
Here, enjoy these ridiculous-ass 90s game commercials.
THE SAME VOICE IS USED IN THE NEXT ONE— which made me loudly exclaim “ohhhh hell nope”.
As a palate cleanser, here’s a Gak ad. (GAK FARTS INTENSIFY.)
Unknown energy drink spilled in very unobtainable telephone hybrid control surface.
The small is like that of old Jolly Ranchers and BRIMSTONE.
Welcome to Monday Night Rehabilitation. Chances of this thing’s survival are probably about 60%. Chances of the survival of whoever spilled their drink down this and said nothing about it until it hardened into foul lacquer—-???
This morning I literally LARTed a coworker. The guy started a portable generator INSIDE the building for a few seconds. Why did he decide to do this? It’d hurt my brain to try to reason with him to understand this, so instead I whacked him firmly with a ream of printer paper for his complete and total lack of common sense.
Nobody, not even the guilty party himself, questioned my decision.
Needless to say this pissed off everyone in the building, led to people having to leave for a while, and perfumed three of the studios with eau d’ lawnmower asshole for hours.
Why?! Why would you even do this?
He thinks this was just hilarious and kept joking about it with me throughout the day. I’m reminded we have a lot more printer paper if needed. I guess he’s lucky I didn’t come out brandishing a crappy old QEI exciter or something. They’re sharp and pointy on the corners! (And even less polite to fellow users of the electromagnetic spectrum, daaang. I mean— some of them I’ve seen— they’ll transmit BEFORE the PLL is locked on the selected operating frequency.)
I have a theory that one of the major reasons this year’s flu season is particularly vile is that policies and management in many companies have eroded, or completely destroyed, the confidence of the American workforce in knowing that they’ll have a job to go back to if they take any time off sick.
Thus, everyone is just going back to work with the flu, and spreading it at unprecedented rates.
Of course, our current mostly conservative government will not create or enforce any policies granting workers sick leave, or even adequately fund any medical or research programs into infectious disease control, so here we are.
It’s kind of frightening. Most of the people I know who have caught the flu this year are back at work because they’ve been told that absence, even if they have a note from a doctor or clinic, will be considered unexcused and grounds for termination. A lot of them work in supermarkets, foodservice, and other tasks that pretty much guarantee spreading any infectious critter they catch.
I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.
(BONG NOISES) “Hey, I’ve got a great idea, heh, what if we stack all this electrical junction box shit on top of the battery.”
“Oh, like the main high amperage starter and battery system fuses?”
“Nah man. Like, all of it.” (BONG NOISES)
“Duuude. Gimme a good hit of that and we’ll go design it right now. Hey, my Autocad is really colorful today.” (BONG NOISES)
Several months later, in a remote parking lot:
“Oh okay let me just see if this low battery just needs a jump and charge or replaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT EVEN IS ALL OF THAT OH NO NO NOOOOOOOPE NOPE NOPE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
After seeing all of this I’m actually almost willing to call the GM vehicles that buried the battery under the entire air intake box an ACCEPTABLE design.
On the left (negative post) – the terminal is a soft alloy one. However, then, some kind of cupric-ish looking* mystery metal piece is permanently swaged into it. This is the baseplate to what’s probably a Hall effect battery current sensor. Congratulations, you successfully ripped off Honda’s battery charging system, and did it WRROOOOONNNGGGG. Bolted to that (why not put the bolted connector on the other side of the sensor so the terminal may be replaced??!!) is the post for the battery cable’s exceedingly strange quick disconnect.
This terminal fits over the post DISTURBINGLY loosely. Once you press the release tab at the top, it pulls off effortlessly. I didn’t actually have to press the release tab before I lifted it off for the first time. HMMMMMMM….
The post has a groove in it that something inside the terminal locks into. Barely. It attaches with an unimpressive, almost imperceptible snap.
The positive post. This goes to a very large plate that I’m guessing is tinned cuprimysteryassalloywhatever*. It looks like in this case, the plate can be unbolted from the terminal, but the terminal is totally custom and has those two bolts swaged into it.
Note the shape of the terminal. This terminal has been tightened by the factory to the point that the gap is entirely closed; the terminal is now stretched out of shape permanently and it is unlikely to be able to be transferred to a new battery.
Same deal over here on the negative post, though that has maybe a millimeter of life left in it. Maybe. Note that this trashed terminal is permanently attached to that current sensor, so both have to be replaced along with the battery. WHOSE BRILLIANT IDEA WAS THIS??!!
(BONG NOISES) “wooooow, that’s like, killer, now they have to buy like, a metric assload of proprietary parts to do a simple battery change.”
“duuuude, wait, it gets better, look at this amazing coolant hose system they’ll have to come back to us for! I based it off this tangled bunch of stems.”
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Recreational marijuana dispensaries will be legal under California state law come January 1. Recreational use has already been legalized at the state level. Check local laws for any restrictions, however – some municipalities have weird ones. Chico seems to want nothing to do with it (….and the potential tax revenue that would come from it but ok??!!)
Like any other substance that has the potential to slow down response of the central nervous system, use marijuana responsibly. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery while under the influence. The designated driver system should be used if you’ve gotta get somewhere by automobile to a social gathering where you plan to use marijuana. Do not drive…. or design…. automobiles while under the influence. That means you, FCA Corporation. Thank you very much and happy new year!
* I pulled these made up words riiiiiight out of my ass to say, it’s either copper, brass, or bronze, some copper containing something or other.