Best driver of the year award goes to….. Girl who spent more on her weave and her phone than she did on her car, who slowly drifted out of her lane while poring over something on her phone.
I didn’t notice this until I felt a very wrong sensation and heard an odd sound and my car started wanting to push left. I looked over and the first thing I saw was my rear view mirror stuck right through her open window next to her face.
I realized I didn’t want to spook her because she’d do something and make it worse… So I gently moved left, getting my mirror out of her oblivious face and gave her some room…. then let loose with the horn.
The phone popped back down and she swerved all the hell over the place before slamming the gas and leaving a cloud of blue gray smoke. Then the phone popped right back up again and she rear ended a dump truck ten seconds later. Of course since she’s already on SR-22 she just ran. So did the dump truck.
There’s some kind of bizarre avant-garde Caribbean jazz playing in this restroom, and if all my senses other than hearing were malfunctioning, I’d be inclined to believe that I’m actually shitting rack screws into an upended steel drum while someone throws many timbales down a flight of stairs.
Yes I realize you’re in dire waters because you’ve long since driven off all your tourism, businesses, civic events, the arts, entertainment, and any trace of fun, however Please stop cockplugging US1 with road closures and 10+ minute photo enforced red lights.
All you have left as a city is that your roads are a viable alternative to being trafFUCKED on I-95, don’t kill that too.