Chessie System logo:
I’m going to die of this level of cute and I’ll go happy
Chessie System logo:
I’m going to die of this level of cute and I’ll go happy
After basically determining that a studio switcher at the heart of one enormous wonderful rat’s nest of GPI wiring that will all have to be redone *A SECOND TIME* is all messed up, I took great amusement in this technical problem and its fix.
This is apparently in place aboard a bus in Morelia, Mexico.
The instruction is making me freaking die of laughter. TOQUE EL POLLO!
Toque translates to play, as in a musical instrument, or touch. I prefer the former. PLAY THE RUBBER CHICKEN!!!
There are mountains on one side and orange groves on the other. The bus is a Gillig low floor that looks like it either gets fully cleaned nightly or it juuuuust rolled up here from Hayward.
Something tells me I’m not on MDT anymore.
I just traced it out and these are the limits of how far you can go in Southeast Florida by public transit.
Other possible odd destinations are possible, such as South Bay, Canal Point, and Indiantown, but by distance, this seems to be the maximum.
Yes, this is plotting highway distance– Google does not have route information for some of the bus lines, so it cannot do a public transit trip plan automatically.
Transit routes used:
Key West Transit / Lower Keys Shuttle
Miami-Dade Transit / 300 Dade-Monroe Express -> Busway Flyer -> Metrorail
Tri-Rail / Northbound train to Mangonia Park station
Palm Tran / Route 21 northbound -> Gardens Mall
Martin County Transit / Route 20x -> route 1
Treasure Coast Connection / route 1 -> route 7
GoLine route 6 -> route 11
From here there is a 16 mile gap before you would reach the Space Coast Area Transit system. The rural city of Micco does not appear to have any public transit. If this DID connect, the northern limit would be Aurantia Road and US1 in Mims.
Do not attempt this trip unless you are insane.
It would likely take multiple days and one of the routes is only available weekday commuter hours.
* No employees speak English
* TSA checkpoint opens an hour late
* No air conditioning in concourse
* Powerful stench of hot stale piss
* Pasty fukkboi who thinks he’s PitBull circulating around the overheated concourse rapping
Ya know man as awful as Chicago’s O’Hare airport supposedly is, there is no way it isn’t a step up from this.
Get a full size rim and full size spare for your vehicle.
Otherwise you will be stuck in South Florida’s unique sort of tire hell when you lose one.
The tire in question is NOT an uncommon size.
So far here’s what I’ve found:
* Sears. They have the tires in stock– three hours away. I can take my car in right when they open and maaaaaybe get out same day.
* Tire Kingdom. Need to make an appointment over a week in advance. All the cars there had bullet holes in them. All except this one, which I’d be mad if someone defiled. Because….. Look at this majestic thing
* An independent shop I’ve used before. Out of business.
* another independent shop I’ve used before. Gave me an appointment then took TEN walk in customers ahead of me, filling them up for the day. Gave me another appointment two weeks off.
* Goodyear. Need appointment weeks in advance. Doesn’t acknowledge that my tire size exists.
* Firestone. Doesn’t acknowledge that my tire size exists. Offered a tire the wrong size at $190 a pop with two days lead time.
* Pep Boys. Backordered, next availability not known.
* Costco. In stock, ready to install, but I don’t have a membership. Yet. Probably will soon.
Oh but that’s okay. If your car isn’t in good shape you can just take the train. No wait… You will not and never will be able to take the train. Thanks Gimenez.
He could not find a job in Southeast Florida at all, because no planning exists. “Communities” do not exist. What exists is just spray and pray.
Here’s what’s making me mad due to its total illogic and general idiocy.
American [Wet] Dream Miami has not died, sadly. The developers are on board and Miami-Dade County, seeking a new economic engine to the region, is pushing for it to get built as soon as possible.
The State of Florida doesn’t think it’s going to work and may step in to stop it, as they realize the critical lack of transportation and other infrastructure to support the project. Broward County looks on horrified yet powerless to stop it, like a damsel in distress.
Speaking of damsels in distress, let me digress a moment and share with you one of the fucking creepiest ad campaigns I’ve ever seen:
This shit makes me cringe so hard in so many ways, but— I’m not one to speak, I’m just the engineer.
So, since the last time I’ve yelled obscenities at the wall about this thing, they’ve released some informative graphics on the project:
The Graham Project is just fucking stupid. Do you really want to live there and find yourself locked up in 1-5 hours of traffic just to get to anything as common as a full sized grocery store? Great! You’ll love this place. The only planned access appears to be by the feeder roads to the mall.
Sprawl kings Lennar Homes also want to shit out another development over protected wetlands to the south of the Graham Project.
And now, site leasing plans revealing an interior floor plan!
The ski slope looks like a robot dick. I’m sorry. It does. There’s no denying that.
And now, here is why this shit will fail and fail hard.
Miami-Dade County’s economy has been in a meltdown since the mid 1990s that is now almost complete. Miami’s got effectively two classes: The rich, who either come from old money, own big foreign corporations…. and those who attempt to make a living working in what businesses are left in Miami-Dade County, or— the flat broke.
Studies have shown that Miami is one of the least affordable cities to live in (or around). Rental housing? Forget it. You pretty much need to be ready to buy a property to live in Miami-Dade County, and you need to be ready to buy that in cash, because you will be competing with foreign cash buyers for that property who just want to sit on it to pad their portfolio with some crap houses that keep a more or less stable value.
Nobody who is going to work in this shit show will be able to afford to live in Miami-Dade County.
Nobody who is going to work in this shit show will be able to afford the time and expenses to commute from anywhere that housing still remains affordable.
And, most importantly:
RETAIL IS DEAD. DEAD. DEAD AS FUCK. STICK A FORK IN IT, IT IS FUCKING DONE.
Yes, I realize the alternate use of this little fuckball is that it contains a half assed “theme park” and water park in its two large open spaces, in addition to what appears to be a specially constructed lake where you can… go fishing?? I don’t get it. Also, where’s the water coming from? If you’ve seen my previous posts on this cocksplat of a plan, I’ve brought up the question of where they’re going to get water. Florida is in drought again this spring, and we haven’t seen the worst of it yet. I hope you’re ready to deal with begging for sustenance from the Department of Water and Power. 😉
FUUUUCK THIS NOISE.
Triple Five group made a half assed promise to run shuttle service between several existing transit hubs to alleviate the congestion. That… just won’t do a thing. They would have likely run shuttles anyway for tourists – Dolphin Mall and Sawgrass Mills have had airport shuttles for years. They transport a few dozen shoppers back and forth a day and that’s about it.
God damn it. I’m not even done here, because the idiots over at Mana Wynwood decided to dig the area a nice posh grave lined in million dollar velvet and bury it. What is Wynwood? Wynwood is an old warehouse/business district that attracted an artists’ scene because it was a good place to find affordable studio space and host some events. Unfortunately, well—
If you’re a Miami native, please try to jog your frame of mind and look at this like an outsider to see how fucking ridiculous it is–
The site of an abandoned RC Cola factory managed to become the preferred site for music festivals and performances. It’s all outdoor – in Florida – no climate control, not even a proper toilet. And now… everything around the abandoned RC Cola plant is HOT SHIT. Just like what’s inside the RC Cola Plant’s portapotties.
So now the plan is, redevelop this area with high density luxury housing, multi-million dollar condos, and high end designer retail that nobody will be able to afford to shop at. Also, the buzzwords “trade center” were thrown out there, but look at every other “trade center” project that’s been attempted in Miami. The “trade center” never materializes and all winds up being “empty-ass class C office space” or ballrooms or other under-utilized shit.
What in the actual fuck are you thinking? This is like Brickell City Centre run through a few funhouse mirrors. Unlike the Brickell City Centre, it doesn’t connect to Metromover, so there’s no easy way to just stroll right on in there.
This isn’t … gentrification. This is just plain dropping a Daisy Cutter on the neighborhood and telling everyone fuckety bye. So much for that art community that drew everyone to the area – this will surely make the spaces they work in more valuable as valet parking spots than studios. Oopsie! I’d heard rumblings that there was an effort to provide artists new spaces over in Opa-Locka before everyone just runs out of money and leaves forever, but that’s… Opa-Locka… and safely preparing that space for new use will probably require actual Daisy Cutters.
So previously I’d also questioned the redevelopment of two sites in Broward – the old Plantation Fashion Mall site and the old Boomer’s Dania– those… those seem almost… well designed in comparison. Both are infill developments slated to be mixed use with janky condominium housing and very limited road access. But at least… at least they have road access… and aren’t expected to be quite the same sort of massive overload on the surrounding areas.
Holy shit, nobody has even a sixty fourth of a fucking clue here.
I always loved that Eye On Miami never seemed to forget that we have a little traffic problem down here and that our leaders needed to be reminded about it and reminded to please act in the public interest….
But then this horrible orange thing happened and they got distracted by that and we don’t have our trains yet…
Aaaaand tonight, this happened.
This is the fastest route home that Waze could give me.
The beginning is in North Bay Village. The end is in Hallandale. They are about 15 miles apart.
Unfortunately there were simply no usable routes remaining and the first thing it found was US 41, State Road 29, and Alligator Alley.
Hey, at least I got to see two panthers at one point while going through Big Cypress….
Sorry guys, you’re trafFUCKED. Forever. Why? You moved into bullshit like this. Here’s an example of the road structure common in KendHELL:
Developments were intentionally fragmented and designed to make access via anything but motor vehicle impractical to impart an aesthetic sense of distance from the major roadways and create an artificial sense of isolation and security. Many developments are walled in completely and gated.
Yeah… Good luck with that mass transit… It’s nearly impossible. Enjoy your four hour traffic jams.
Might as well just flood it again and return it to the Everglades 😉