How you’ve grown

It’s strange how Apple Computer went from making some of the most innovative and hacker friendly computers in the 80s to making a walled garden bauble smartphone with forced obsolescence. Then again it’s hilarious how Microsoft went from making a BASIC interpreter to just being a basic bitch.

Picture unrelated.

BRAWNDO! It’s got electrolytes!!

Unknown energy drink spilled in very unobtainable telephone hybrid control surface.

The small is like that of old Jolly Ranchers and BRIMSTONE.

Welcome to Monday Night Rehabilitation. Chances of this thing’s survival are probably about 60%. Chances of the survival of whoever spilled their drink down this and said nothing about it until it hardened into foul lacquer—-???

Believe me— it was well deserved.

This morning I literally LARTed a coworker. The guy started a portable generator INSIDE the building for a few seconds. Why did he decide to do this? It’d hurt my brain to try to reason with him to understand this, so instead I whacked him firmly with a ream of printer paper for his complete and total lack of common sense.

Nobody, not even the guilty party himself, questioned my decision.

Needless to say this pissed off everyone in the building, led to people having to leave for a while, and perfumed three of the studios with eau d’ lawnmower asshole for hours.

Why?! Why would you even do this?

He thinks this was just hilarious and kept joking about it with me throughout the day. I’m reminded we have a lot more printer paper if needed. I guess he’s lucky I didn’t come out brandishing a crappy old QEI exciter or something. They’re sharp and pointy on the corners! (And even less polite to fellow users of the electromagnetic spectrum, daaang. I mean— some of them I’ve seen— they’ll transmit BEFORE the PLL is locked on the selected operating frequency.)

Video unrelated.