Bang!

I’m still baffled by this one. I’m going down 595 eastbound past Davie when there’s suddenly a massive bang… I didn’t see any objects in the road prior to this but something must have hit hard. I pulled over and found the wheel well liner wrapped around the wheel and what’s left of the front bumper unsnapped from its tracks.

image

There was once a big black plastic pan here.

image

Flapping in the breeze.

image

I do hope that dangling wire would have been for the fog lights on a fancier trim model

image

The remains of the pan I had to remove because it was dragging and there’s nothing left to attach it to

image

image

There is no real evidence of what may I may have hit in the road, but it sure did a nice job of demolishing all the plastic parts.

Oh well. Likely coming soon: a post in which I detail reassembling the front of a car in 88 degree December weather.

¡Come Pinga!

Best driver of the year award goes to….. Girl who spent more on her weave and her phone than she did on her car, who slowly drifted out of her lane while poring over something on her phone.

image
Fuck this city, I had to go hurry up to go wait in traffic and didn't get time to paint my nails as usual

I didn’t notice this until I felt a very wrong sensation and heard an odd sound and my car started wanting to push left. I looked over and the first thing I saw was my rear view mirror stuck right through her open window next to her face.

I realized I didn’t want to spook her because she’d do something and make it worse… So I gently moved left, getting my mirror out of her oblivious face and gave her some room…. then let loose with the horn.

The phone popped back down and she swerved all the hell over the place before slamming the gas and leaving a cloud of blue gray smoke. Then the phone popped right back up again and she rear ended a dump truck ten seconds later. Of course since she’s already on SR-22 she just ran. So did the dump truck.

But that’s none of my business.

Dear shitty little old Florida beach towns

Yes I realize you’re in dire waters because you’ve long since driven off all your tourism, businesses, civic events, the arts, entertainment, and any trace of fun, however
Please stop cockplugging US1 with road closures and 10+ minute photo enforced red lights.
All you have left as a city is that your roads are a viable alternative to being trafFUCKED on I-95, don’t kill that too.

image
Fuckety bye