I didn’t even realize it was possible for this to fail!

You know how at a lot of stores they give you the option to select cash back from a debit card transaction?

This appears to be a very ridiculous trap if the store is out of cash and the cashier doesn’t warn you ahead of time. The point of sale system has no option to cancel this transaction– in its code, it treats that as change that’s been issued and that’s that.

Finally, the manager solved the problem, for me at least, by giving me $10 out of his own wallet. He should not have had to do this.

The condition that led to this is the ubiquitous “South Florida Sucks” part of the post.

 This happened to me at a 7-11 store that, for a while, had armed robberies almost weekly after dark. They no longer have the usual electronic cash vault unit that 7-11 stores all do, because it left on the back of a pickup truck in one of their recent robberies. Guess who was lucky enough to ask for cash back the afternoon after they got knocked over yet again in broad daylight?

This store now has a police officer parked at it every night to deter the robberies. It pretty much works, but the store usually slams the doors shut and turns out its lights immediately if the officer has to leave on a call. I can’t blame them.

suburban ghosts of subhuman life

Every time I start wondering why I’m foolish enough to dream of moving far from here, I’m reminded by a zombie bum fight in the middle of the road in a blinding rain that maybe it’d be more than just a regrettably useless change of scenery.

One was throwing construction barricades at the other, both next to the only lane out of town.

South Florida’s postmortem analysis

This blog is full of me shouting down a hole about how badly South Florida sucks.

But why’d this come to be? What happened to this beautiful tropical oasis?

Here are some theories.

Continue reading »

¡Come Pinga!

Best driver of the year award goes to….. Girl who spent more on her weave and her phone than she did on her car, who slowly drifted out of her lane while poring over something on her phone.

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Fuck this city, I had to go hurry up to go wait in traffic and didn't get time to paint my nails as usual

I didn’t notice this until I felt a very wrong sensation and heard an odd sound and my car started wanting to push left. I looked over and the first thing I saw was my rear view mirror stuck right through her open window next to her face.

I realized I didn’t want to spook her because she’d do something and make it worse… So I gently moved left, getting my mirror out of her oblivious face and gave her some room…. then let loose with the horn.

The phone popped back down and she swerved all the hell over the place before slamming the gas and leaving a cloud of blue gray smoke. Then the phone popped right back up again and she rear ended a dump truck ten seconds later. Of course since she’s already on SR-22 she just ran. So did the dump truck.

But that’s none of my business.

Yeah that’s how you jinx it

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I’m sitting there after a detour through da hood to avoid I-95, 441, and US1 being at a complete standstill thinking, yeah, this isn’t so bad—-

Is that

Is that a wobbling zombie with needle tracks holding a compound bow and aiming arrows at oncoming traffic?! Fuck shit no.

Apologies to whoever’s lawn I tore up taking evasive measures.