(BONG NOISES) “Hey, I’ve got a great idea, heh, what if we stack all this electrical junction box shit on top of the battery.”
“Oh, like the main high amperage starter and battery system fuses?”
“Nah man. Like, all of it.” (BONG NOISES)
“Duuude. Gimme a good hit of that and we’ll go design it right now. Hey, my Autocad is really colorful today.” (BONG NOISES)
Several months later, in a remote parking lot:
“Oh okay let me just see if this low battery just needs a jump and charge or replaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT EVEN IS ALL OF THAT OH NO NO NOOOOOOOPE NOPE NOPE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
After seeing all of this I’m actually almost willing to call the GM vehicles that buried the battery under the entire air intake box an ACCEPTABLE design.
On the left (negative post) – the terminal is a soft alloy one. However, then, some kind of cupric-ish looking* mystery metal piece is permanently swaged into it. This is the baseplate to what’s probably a Hall effect battery current sensor. Congratulations, you successfully ripped off Honda’s battery charging system, and did it WRROOOOONNNGGGG. Bolted to that (why not put the bolted connector on the other side of the sensor so the terminal may be replaced??!!) is the post for the battery cable’s exceedingly strange quick disconnect.
This terminal fits over the post DISTURBINGLY loosely. Once you press the release tab at the top, it pulls off effortlessly. I didn’t actually have to press the release tab before I lifted it off for the first time. HMMMMMMM….
The post has a groove in it that something inside the terminal locks into. Barely. It attaches with an unimpressive, almost imperceptible snap.
The positive post. This goes to a very large plate that I’m guessing is tinned cuprimysteryassalloywhatever*. It looks like in this case, the plate can be unbolted from the terminal, but the terminal is totally custom and has those two bolts swaged into it.
Note the shape of the terminal. This terminal has been tightened by the factory to the point that the gap is entirely closed; the terminal is now stretched out of shape permanently and it is unlikely to be able to be transferred to a new battery.
Same deal over here on the negative post, though that has maybe a millimeter of life left in it. Maybe. Note that this trashed terminal is permanently attached to that current sensor, so both have to be replaced along with the battery. WHOSE BRILLIANT IDEA WAS THIS??!!
(BONG NOISES) “wooooow, that’s like, killer, now they have to buy like, a metric assload of proprietary parts to do a simple battery change.”
“duuuude, wait, it gets better, look at this amazing coolant hose system they’ll have to come back to us for! I based it off this tangled bunch of stems.”
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Recreational marijuana dispensaries will be legal under California state law come January 1. Recreational use has already been legalized at the state level. Check local laws for any restrictions, however – some municipalities have weird ones. Chico seems to want nothing to do with it (….and the potential tax revenue that would come from it but ok??!!)
Like any other substance that has the potential to slow down response of the central nervous system, use marijuana responsibly. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery while under the influence. The designated driver system should be used if you’ve gotta get somewhere by automobile to a social gathering where you plan to use marijuana. Do not drive…. or design…. automobiles while under the influence. That means you, FCA Corporation. Thank you very much and happy new year!
* I pulled these made up words riiiiiight out of my ass to say, it’s either copper, brass, or bronze, some copper containing something or other.
My eyes make no sense. My glasses broke a few weeks ago and I glued the bridge back together. They broke again last weekend and the plastic just won’t take being glued again- it turns to powder!
It occurs to me I shouldn’t have had the same pair for over 10 years, right?
So for now I’ve just been dealing with the weird behavior of my distance vision and realizing how little sense it makes.
Things get blurry from about six feet out… but what happens from there is pure fnord.
I can read larger text on the interstate highway signs just fine and some residential street signs. However, some just blur out and the chances of it being legible don’t really even correlate to the font face, size, or colors. Sometimes I’ll even get to watch a blurry one snap into sharp focus after a second.
This is really fun during an eye exam when the results of testing will contradict themselves seconds later.
Meanwhile, I can perfectly see a little 100 foot tower that’s like ten miles away and up a 6000 foot mountain.
What even are eyes? They make less sense then the thorium oxide doped glass in old Pentax lenses.
I had to reboot my Subaru Forester tonight. It threw literally every possible error message following coming up with the traction control, hill assist, and ABS warning lights on.
The fuse to reboot it is a 20 amp at the front center of the under hood fuse box labeled “Back Up” in the legend.
So here’s how you reboot a car. Note that some vehicles have this fuse labelled as dome light.
On certain navigation/audio systems you will need an anti theft code to reactivate them after this.
Either way, pull it, wait 30 sec, and reinsert. Be careful not to touch any hot parts under the hood if the car has just been running. A fuse puller is likely provided in the box, but if not, many replacement fuse kits come with one, or you can use small pliers to grab it.
After pulling the fuse, waiting at least 30 seconds and reinserting it, don’t be surprised if you get an errant horn honk, beeps, or clicks. Aftermarket alarms may start blasting and need to be turned back off with the remote.
Wait another minute or so, then restart the car. Check that the stereo comes on (or asks for the code…) to be sure its anti theft logic has cleared out. You will need to reset the clock and other settings may be gone as well.
In addition, it may drive differently at first as adaptive data has been reset.
Congratulations! You now know how to clear an automotive BSOD.
Now, if people would only stop arguing with me and trying to convince me that piercing guns are actually of acceptable design… Why has this happened like six times in the last week??!!
I was about to fall asleep when I heard a really bizarre undulating, non stop … grunting? It sounded like the distant residue of a low male voice but did not match anything like a singing or speaking pattern. Did I mention, NON STOP? If it was a voice it was something that never stops to breathe…
I also heard an actual voice through the wall. It sounded…. worried.
Somehow I came to realize I’d left the balcony light on so I reached over to turn it off. Just before my hand touched the switch, I saw a shadow flicker by the light.
What the crap was ?!!
Save energy or we sic the flying hellmoths on you. – Pacific Gas and Energy.